No, this is not a clue or hint about anything I’m facing. I’m writing this on the heels of a wonderful “celebration of life” event I attended today. It was perfectly suited for the person who was memorialized. And it got me thinking: do I really want to leave my funeral plans to someone else?
To some this may sound morbid. Let me recommend a more stoic attitude. Making this plan will perhaps inspire you to cherish your time on the planet. It will be a Momento Mori — a symbol of life’s brevity, and a reminder to live it up while you’re here.
After helping plan my father’s funeral, watching my husband’s family organize his dad’s celebration of life, and attending this party today, I came up with a checklist of things you may want to start working on!
Create a file for all the relevant funeral-related documents, thumb-drives, notes, etc. Make sure it’s somewhere people know about.
Determine what you want — a full Catholic funeral, a wake, a festive party, or a small family gathering. Let people know.
You don’t want music you consider crappy to be playing at the service or the post-party. Put together a playlist of the music that defines you. This will be a cathartic and creative exercise.
Leave notes for the people you’d like to eulogize you. Don’t ask them while you’re still alive — that might creep them out. But leave letters asking them to be part of the ceremony. And in some cases, you might need to assign time limits!
There is usually one featured photo your loved ones want on prominent display. Make sure it’s one you like! Leave the photo on a thumb drive.
If you can find time, gather a bunch of photos and memorabilia you want displayed at the event.
Write a goodbye letter to be included in the “program” or handout.
If you love Pinot Noir, ask to have it served.
If you love cheese curds, ask to have them served.
Location, location, location. Church? Golf club? A pub crawl?
Perhaps you’ll think of more. Send me a note if you do!
Who knows — maybe the process will leave you less afraid, and leave your loved ones more at peace.
#RIP