Of Puppies and Babies

If I had only known…

It’s no secret advertisers use puppies and babies in commercials because they are irresistible to look at (for most of us). There is even a Puppy Bowl during the Super Bowl halftime window to attract viewers away from the Big Game’s big act.

(The puppies should get a good rating this year with Rihanna as the Super Bowl halftime act. I mean, I like Rihanna. But what happened to the days of Prince, U2, Beyoncé and The Rolling Stones? But I digress…)

A friend once told me she believed the divine plan behind infants being so fragile, adorable, and beautiful was to make sure parents fell so deeply in love with their offspring that they would never want to abandon them.

Clearly, this doesn’t always work. There are exceptions to every rule.

But I think my friend was right. I mean, we fall in love with other adults in our lives, but we are able to break up those relationships when they no longer work.

Most humans can’t imagine parting ways with a child. And those who lose children are never, ever the same. But let’s not go there.

People also fall in love with puppies and shower them with almost as much love and attention as they might a child.

I grew up with dogs. But it had been close to 30 years since I said goodbye to my family’s beloved Irish Setter, Murphy — a damn good dog.

When I finally convinced my husband last January that a dog would be a great addition to our family, he relented. My husband doesn’t ask for much, and he did NOT want a dog. But I was retiring from my sideline reporting career, and I promised him — no, guaranteed — he would not have to lift a finger for this dog.

I’ve kept that promise since March of 2022 when we brought home Jersey, a mini labra-doodle.

Early on, I was reminded why I will never adopt a puppy again. The middle-of-the-night potty training in our freezing and snowy hometown was more painful than expected.

But from the get-go I invested time and money in training to make sure this adoption worked out.

Now, here we are, almost a year into this new relationship… and I’m a mess.

But maybe not in the way you would think.

I’m more emotional. I obsess over his care. I’m the last line of defense for this pup.

My 17-year-old son PROMISED he would walk the dog twice a day. I’m sure you can imagine how that turned out. (Take your teenage son’s promises with a massive grain of salt.)

My 14-year-old daughter has been a champ when it comes to playing with the dog and wearing him out. She also doesn’t drive yet, so she’s housebound more than my son.

But ultimately, I am the dog-mom.

So do I have regrets about adding this responsibility and commitment to my life?

Honestly, now and then I have pangs that go something like this:

“I really need to do laundry… but I’ve got to get this dog to the park.”

Or, “Damnit, why does Jersey bark ONLY when I’m recording my podcast?!?”

Or, “Please sleep through the night. Please sleep through the night. Please sleep through the night!”

My husband has mentioned I might be setting my standards of dog-care a tad high. But he also acknowledged my standards for just about everything are a tiny bit unrealistic.

He’s right. This dog’s life is pretty sweet, and yet I always wonder if I’m coming up short. Too many treats? Not enough treats? Not enough walking? To many walks? Too much love? Not enough love?

And it’s funny because this dog is not needy. He’s a little picky about food. But he’s pretty happy all the time, as I suspect most dogs are. He doesn’t even need or want cuddling as much as we would like.

So what is it I’m trying to accomplish with this pet — whom I brought into our home to make our lives fuller, warmer and more fun? I’m guess I’m trying to make sure he’s as happy as everyone else in the house.

But, just as I did with each of my children, I’ve become so freaking emotional when I’m away from this dog! I worry. I miss him. I wonder if he’s happy and healthy.

My best friend, Kim, once said, “If I knew raising kids was going to be so difficult I might not have done it!” Of course, she wouldn’t trade her now-grown kids for anything.

The point is, we have no way of truly knowing how challenging it is to raise kids — or pups — until we actually do it.

We also have absolutely no way of knowing how much love we will feel for our babies until we hold our own for the first time. It is in that moment that life is forever changed. And in spite of the many trials and tribulations you face as a parent, the love you feel is overwhelming and impossible to explain.

I can’t imagine my life without my kids.

I would not compare getting a dog to having children. But adopting a puppy has changed my life. And with my kids requiring less of my attention these days, this dog fills the void.

The worry and angst are the hardest parts. And I am self-aware enough to know I need to chill. Jersey has survived his toughest days. And he will get by when I’m out of town or otherwise engaged.

So, I’m a mess. But what a blessing.

Thank God Jersey was so adorable to begin with.